Monday, 11 June 2012

Arnie to return for Terminator 5

Now when you think of The Terminator, who do you think of? Christian Bale? Sam Worthington? The Pretty Terminator in the 3rd film?

Of course not, it will always be Arnold Schwarzenegger. So with talk of a 5th Terminator film being made, the hard core fans will be pleased to know that the previous governor of California will be returning to franchise.

Now according to Danny Davito's twin, no-one is supposed to know anything about the film, but Arnie has decided that saying a little bit about the film won't hurt.

'I can’t say too much they want it held in secret if you know what I mean, but I will say that next year I will start filming it and it’s going to be one of the hardest films I have ever done I can tell you that already for sure… they have six months set aside just for filming, so I will be training and getting into the best physical shape I possibly can before filming starts.'

I don't think he understands what a secret is. If only he was the Governor of Nevada we would of found out what was in Area 51 years ago! 'Now they want to keep it a secret, however I can tell you, there are aliens, UFO's, and Elvis has a one bed flat there. But shh, don't tell anyone'

I think him being in the next film will be great! At the age of 65 he has a wealth of experience playing a well built action man with a limited vocabulary.

I cannot help but wonder, when Arnie's character get beaten up and can barely walk... How much of that will be acting, and how much will be real life? If he is running away from someone and he is shot in the leg, is this going to be a planned scene; or will it be that Arnie has pulled his calf muscle during the shoot and the director decides to add blood spatter and gunfire to save having to re-shoot the scene?

So who is going to play his enemy, or the hero, we don't know if Arnie's going to be good or bad. I would imagine, they will have to cast someone who is in the same condition as Arnie. I recommend Stephen Hawkins. He is in the same physical condition and is more convincing as an evil genius!

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Is Madonna the new face of Loreal?

Source Madonna

The answer is no. But that doesn't stop the singer from claiming that she is worth it.

If you want to see the singer perform, you are going to have to sell your car as tickets are being sold for as much as $300. It appears the Material Girl has no sympathy for the general public who are in the middle of a recession though, because she is worth every penny. Oh well let me go and sell my shares!

She has told her fans 'Start saving your pennies now. People spend $300 on crazy things all the time, things like handbags. So work all year, scrape the money together, and come to my show. I'm worth it.' Yeah people! Who cares if you have mouths to feed, her botox won't pay for itself! And yeah people do buy handbags Madonna! The difference is handbags look new when bought. If I wanted to see a middle aged woman prance around on stage, i'd watch the singers who perform at my local. At least then I would still have money to drink away the memories.

Source Madonna

Also I would like to know how she is 'worth it'? How is she allowed to break dance on the stage? Is she trying to look cool, or hot to the younger generation? If so she should be on the sex offenders register, not on stage!

Its ok those guys, because I hear her next concert will be to help Haiti. The tickets aren't even going to cost anything. They just have to pay with children... One less mouth for them to feed.

Monday, 6 February 2012

Amy drops the bomb! The salon isn't real! OMG!

Source Amy Childs

Somehow... And I would like someone to tell me how, TOWIE has become an award winning programme. But people! It is all a pack of lies!

During an interview, Amy Child's accidentally/on purpose, told a reporter that the salon where girls came to get a vajazzle, was never opened for business!

'Can I tell you a big secret? My beauty salon in TOWIE wasn't real, it was all fake and set up in Mum and Dad's garage,' WTF! Of all the programmes, I thought TOWIE was the most genuine. I thought it was up there with Katie Price's and Leo Penna's.

I wonder if Amy thought people were going to be shocked when she told us the news; and why did she say 'big secret'? What part of TOWIE is believable? Ghost Rider is more believable, even with Nicolas Cage's lack of acting skills.

Source Vajazzles

Hang On! If the salon wasn't real; does that mean Amy was giving women Vajazzles for free in front of cameras? Because that could be seen as soft core pornography! I wonder if Amy's parents knew she was involved in the industry; and ITV for that matter!

For Amy though, everything is fine. She has her own salon now and can give Vajazzle's to whoever she wants, and actually make money from it. She could finally give David Beckham those golden balls everyone talks about. 'I can't believe I have my own beauty salon, It's a dream come true!' Yeah Amy and what about our dream! My dream involves Amy, Jordan, the cast of TOWIE and 'Made in Chelsea' and Jedward being forced to participate in a real Battle Royale' Whether my dream comes true is all down to Channel 5, they would love a programme like this!

Monday, 5 December 2011

It's after 9pm so I can say Piss Off Ofcom!

The term 'Its Political Correctness gone mad' is being used far too much recently, and its beginning to spread onto our TV screens. Whenever I read the newspapers, I regularly see articles regarding complaints made to Ofcom, resulting in the organisation trying to restrict programmes on what they can and can't show. For those of you who do not know what Ofcom is. Its basically the call you make after the police tell you that someone threatening Kane on Emerdale does not count as a police matter! They are the next step down from Ghostbusters!

But what really bugs me is how inconsistent they are! Last year, Ofcom had a paddy about how Rihanna and Christina Aguilera were too sexy in their performances (However, even if they were dressed as nuns they could make it sexy). What I want to know is how no one has complained about Kelly Rowlands performance on X Factor last week! Not only did she dress provocatively (Above), but her song is basically about being open to sexual activities. Lyrics such as 'I'm down for whatever, I'm down for whatever, when it comes to you, I can make love on the floor' and also 'baby lets get creative cause with you I am sure'

Now I don't care about the songs, or the dress code. What annoys me is how Ofcom has so much power over production companies. If Ofcom had its own way, every television programme would be like 'Relocation, Relocation, Relocation' or 'University Challenge' Even Monica Gellar would think it was no fun!

Would Britain really crumble is Ofcom didn't exist? Babestation would not be on every channel! Frankie Boyle still wouldn't be allowed his own programme! But people would be able to give their opinions on subjects without worrying about being in trouble, and more importantly, soaps would have proper arguments, so really it needs to happen!

Fingers crossed, someone from Ofcom will say either something racist, or something sexist and then they would no longer exist! So if Derren Brown can sort that out for me then maybe I would start taking him seriously!

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Jeremy Clarkson is on the naughty step...Again!

Jeremy Clarkson just cannot behave! If he isn't accusing lorry drivers of murdering prostitutes, then he is insulting the Welsh language, or punching Piers Morgan... OK so not all is bad. But he can't seem to stop himself from putting his foot in it.

After the public strike which saw disruption across the public sector, Jeremy Clarkson was in the wrong place at the wrong time, being a guest on the BBC's 'The One Show'.

When asked for his opinion on the strikes over pensions, Jeremy responded by saying how 'fantastic' it was because 'London has just been empty' 'But we have to balance though. Because this is the BBC, frankly I'd have them all shot! I would take them outside and have them executed in front of their families!'

Well like usual, this did not go down well with the British public, because, as we all know, the general public does not have a sense of humour and therefore cannot identify sarcasm. Apparently Offcom received 5,000 complaints, and even the Prime Minister David Cameron and Labour party leader Ed Miliband had their say. Although I feel David should be concentrating on more important things like whether the pensions are going to be affecting him as well as the other MP's, or is the government going to be OK?

Anyways the BBC and Jeremy Clarkson have apologised for any offence that was caused. But for those who were offended by this, get over it! He was clearly joking and if they don't understand sarcasm then they should not be allowed to own a telephone!

So there you go Jeremy, I have your back, however, in regards to you comment about suicides... You're on your own with that one.

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Kerry Katona tells us about what happened after she won 'I'm a Celebrity'...7 years later!

With 'I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here' on our screens once again, after 7 years since Kerry Katona won the crown, she has decided it is time for everybody to know what happened straight after she left the jungle...

She had a bath...OH WOW THANKS FOR TELLING US!!!

She explained to 'NOW ' magazine that having a wash as soon as you leave camp is crucial. Well that isn't completely necessary. You just need to stop rolling around in you own dirt after you use the dunny.

She told the magazine 'I remember getting in the bath and Brian had to wash me and the bath water was filthy.' Ok 1, have a shower instead then; and 2, why was Brian washing you? Were you four at the time? Are you that lazy? Or could you not be trusted with the Talcum Powder after your bath and needed to be supervised?

Source Kerry Katona

After her bath, she understandably was craving some decent food. 'Then I had a McDonald's,' she admits, 'and when I got in a car I was like, what is this weird machine I'm in?!' YOU WERE IN THE JUNGLE FOR 2 WEEKS!!! Its not like she has been living with an Amazon tribe all her life, so I'm afraid Kerry, that comment makes you an idiot!

Saturday, 12 November 2011

Cheryl's Cheeky gift from Nicola!

Now we all hold grudges, whether we choose to admit it or not. But it seems that Cheryl Cole, and the rest of the Girls Aloud are still angry with Simon Cowell for his decision to sack Cheryl from the US X Factor, and replace her with Nicole Scherzinger (Shirt-singer if, like me you struggled to pronounce it) known for being in the girl band 'Nicole and the Pussycat Dolls'.

If you have been stuck down a hole for months and you do not know what is going on. Then basically Simon thought, that because X Factor was doing so well in the UK, he decided to abandon that show, to start one across the pond, and wanted Cheryl to join the team. This lasted a couple of months and she ended up coming back home, due to being sacked!

Well after this it was clear that Cheryl was extremely hurt, and at least once a week we are reminded on just how hurt she is.

Fortunately for Cheryl, she has the support of the Girls Aloud ladies (minus Nadine) and Nicola has even gone and given her a gift that is sure to put a smile on her face... Simon Cowell Toilet paper! @CherylCole Babe.. Its not the girliest thing but I got you a present.. x #NaughtyNicola,' Tweeted Nicola who posted a pic of the comedy loo roll. I didn't know that Nicola liked toilet humour, but come to think of it, she must do when she has to listen to the s**t music she creates.

I wonder if this is their way of saying to Simon that he can either 'eat s**t and die'? Or that 'he can kiss their asses' If so I don't think they have thought this through as Simon can now say that his face has been in contact with an area on Cheryl's body that every man wishes to go.

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