Lindsay Lohan's connection to the Mafia!



Source Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan has been chatting to celebrity gossip magazine Page Six about an upcoming mob film Gotti. She believes she should get a part in the film because she has connections with the Gotti family. 'My dad was in jail with the grandfather' she told the magazine. Michael Lohan served a four year jail sentence in the late 90's which is when the pair met. Miss Lohan says she has know the Gotti family since she was three years old.

John Gotti became the crime boss of the Gambino family in 1985 when he organised the murder of Paul Castellano and took his place. This left Gotti as the boss of the most powerful crime family in America until 1992 when he was convicted of five murders.

To be honest I am not surprised that she has connections to the Mob family. With her history of drug abuse, alcohol and DUIs i'm just surprised we haven't heard reports that she is in a relationship with Osama Bin Laden, her great grandfather is Hitler and she organised the assasination of JFK.

Source Lindsay Lohan Drunk

Back to her getting the part. Unfotunately for her in this situation its not who you know, its whether you are a good actress; and with her history of dropping out of films because she had to go to rehab, and my favourite reason has to be winning the award for Worst Actress at the Razzie awards for her performance in 'I Know Who Killed Me' where she plays a stripper with a dual personality, the best part is she came first and second for both personalities. Brilliant!

The only way she is going to get the part is if she sorts her life out, because whenever we hear about Lindsay, its always something bad and never about a great performance in a film, charity work etc. However as a fan of entertainment, I do enjoy reading about her getting into trouble because it is always something funny such as my previous post about her 'Lindsay Lohan shows us a new way of standing up'

Right now she is at a cross roads in her life where she can either turn her life around, or go further down the dark road. I guess we will have to wait and see which turning she makes.

Thanks for reading guys and gals

Jedward forces Coco into early retirement!

Source Jedward

Coco the monkey, star of Coco Pops since 1963 will be shown the door by Kelloggs as they have found a 'suitable' replacement according to Heatworld, but Kelloggs say they have no intention in giving the monkey his marching orders.

Coco has been turning the milk chocolatey for 48 years, but rumours are that Jedward has taken the reins. The only way they will be able to turn the milk chocolatey is by pumping their evil into every bowl. This deal is said to be worth £180,000 and the twins are set to record their first advert in LA. But that is not the worst part of this story! John describes it perfectly. 'When you walk in the shops, all you will see is our faces and kids will be begging their parents to buys us!'

Now i have accepted that i have to see The twins once a week because they are on one of the funniest programmes on TV right now - Celebrity Juice. But to possibly see them everytime there is a break on, plus seeing them whenever i am in a Supermarket is a scary thought.

However Kelloggs have released a statement which says 'Kelloggs have worked with Jedward in Ireland to promote our Fun Raise for Kids campaign...However, as much as we love the guys, we have no plans to use them to 'front a campaign' and they will not be replacing Coco the monkey on our packs - his jobs is safe.'

We will just have to wait and see. All i know is these two pain in the asses are slowly taking over the world, and there is one man who is to blame for this, Louis Walsh! It reminds me of The Omen! Louis Walsh is the devil and Jedward are his children, maybe that is why they have those gigantic quifs to hide the horns! All i know is eventually they will take over the whole of television, along with Wagner and the GoCompare man unless we can find a way to stop them. I read on the msn news page that Jedward have landed the largest annual pay packet in X-Factor history, taking home £2.85m according to The Sun newspaper. GOD HELP US ALL!

I have a plan to stop Jedward! Because they are mainly on adverts, my plan is to turn over to a different channel when their advert comes on and turn back 30 seconds later when hopefully it would have finished. If everyone does this then the ratings will drop and they will be dropped also which will make our country a little bit happier.

Let me know your thoughts or let me know of other ideas you may have. We cannot let Louis Walsh win guys!

Source Louis Walsh

Prince William and Kate Middleton invite their ex's to their wedding!

Source Prince William and Kate Middleton

I was reading 'Now' magazine and i saw an article about Prince William and Kate Middleton inviting six of their ex-partners to their wedding on the 29th of April.

William has invited four of his ex-girlfriends to the ceremony, Arabella Musgrave 28, Rose Farquhar 26, Jecca Craig 28, and finally Davina Duckworth-Chad (Possibly the best name ever) 32 who was once favourite to be Will's bride has been invited.

I feel more sorry for Kate's ex-boyfriends though Rupert Finch 30 and Willem Marx 28. Imagine being introduced to the newly wedded couple and introducing your partner:

Rupert - Congratulations on you marriage

Kate - Thank you very much

Rupert - May i introduce you to my girlfriend Jenny, Jenny is a Bank Manager in Natwest, soon to be promoted to Regional Manager.

Kate - Very nice to meet you Jenny, and Rupert may i introduce William. He is a Prince and in the future he will be KING OF FRICKING ENGLAND! Check Mate Biatch!

As part of the invite, the guests will also recieve a 22 page list of protocol for the wedding day including such things as how to greet the queen, dining rules and also dress code. 'Etiquette is very important but for some it will be a minefield,' a source told the Daily Mirror.

I think the best man might need to have this list as well as i have seen his outfit and i don't think it will be appropriate for the big day.

Source Prince Harry

I honestly cannot wait for the wedding day, not only because it means i get an extra day off work but because i feel it is going to bring the country together for at least one day, and it makes me proud to be English!

Thanks for reading guys and gals

Wayne Rooney's Recieves Two Match Ban!

Source Wayne Rooney

During Rooney's celebrations following his third goal with which Manchester United came back from being 0-2 down against West Ham to finish 4-2. The striker swore into a pitchside camera and was subsequently charged by the Football Association for using offensive language with a two match ban. Since then Rooney has released a statement showing his disappointment in the decision.

In his statement, Rooney commented that his ban did not seem right, he went on to say that he is not the only footballer who swears during a match but he is the only one who was banned. I think he had forgotten Drogba's ban after the 2009 champions league semi final against barcelona when he made his feelings clear about the referees failure to award Chelsea numerous amounts of calls for penalties.

This is not the first time Rooney has been on the front page for the wrong reasons. Rooney reportedly slept with a prostitute, Jennifer Thompson on a number of occasions in 2009 while his wife Coleen was pregnant with son Kai. Although his lawyer tried to stop these allegations from reaching the press, they were unsuccessful.

On the 19th of June 2010 he was forced to apologise to the nation for his rant about the fans boos after the England side woeful draw to Algeria. His comments 'Nice to hear your own fans booing you. That's what loyal support is!' was heard by television cameras as the team walked off the pitch.

Source Daily Mail

Now unfortunately Rooney whether you like it or not, you are in the public eye; and because of this, what you do on the pitch represents your team, the FA and England so you are going to be critised for that. You are also a role model to children, so when they see you swearing to everyone watching the game, it encourages them to act in the same way, which could contribute to the behaviour of wannabe gangsters infesting our streets at night. Just think, by behaving and being the great player you are, the articles in the newspapers will be positive. In the words of Ben Parker from Spiderman 'With great power, comes great responsibility' (cheesy i know)

I have one more final rant about this subject but it isn't aimed at Rooney its aimed at Oliver Holt who writes for The Sun. In his article he says that it is part of the job, just like a cabbie in London chatting to his passengers. I guarantee in Rooney's contract it does not state that the player must swear at the camera every single game. He also said that the worst the the striker could of done was scare squeamish children; and that is acceptable is it?! His final comment was 'I swear infront of my children but it does not make me a bad father because i teach them morals and values.' Looks like your children are gonna struggle when applying for jobs in the future. 'I would like to apply for this position because i am f**king brilliant at it, and would p*ss all over the other applicants' Good luck with that!

On a side note i would like to say i hope that Wayne has a successful season for England, keep banging in those goals lol

Thanks for reading guys

Jedward Somehow Slate Blue!

Source UnrealityTV

Both Jedward and Blue are representing their countries at the Eurovision song contest, and Jedward has wasted no time in playing mind games with the boyband.

During an interview the brothers told The Sun that they have listened to all the other songs and it appears that their song is better than the rest! Edward explained that "We're 19 and it will be girl teenagers voting, so they're more likely to vote for us. I've heard everyone else's Eurovision song and ours is better.”

They also critised Blue who will be singing their comeback song 'I Can' by saying "We never ditched our fans and came back. We've always been here." Unfortunately this is true!

Although i think no-one cares, Jedward have said that they are taking the Eurovision song contest 100% seriously.

Jedward first annoyed us during the 2009 series of X-factor where they came sixth in the finals of the competition. Since then their debut single 'Under Pressure (Ice Ice Baby)' reached second place in the singles chart but were dropped by Sony Records only to be signed by Universal Records on a three album deal the following day! Now i am abit confused as to why someone would think about signing these two...muppets (thats the only word i could come up with without swearing) I think Liam Gallagher summed it up beautifully when he said "How do you not smack them? I know all about annoying fucking brothers (referencing to his brother Noel), but nobody comes close to them. What the fuck is happening to British music? And what are those things on their heads?"

Obviously Jedward have every right to say that they are better than Blue. Blue only had nine singles in the top 10, three of them being chart toppers, and a number 1 album. So really they don't compare to the two Irish pricks.

I do however have a couple of ideas for the twins to progress in their career. One is to follow in the footsteps of Justin Bieber and appear in the TV drama CSI. Justin appeared in two episodes where at the end he ended up getting shot multiple times by police officers...Was probably my favourite episode ever, not that i want Justin Bieber to be killed, its just good that i don't have to imagine it anymore, i can see it for real.

Anyway my second idea is a reality TV show which is a mixture between Capture the Flag on 'Call of Duty' and the film 'Smoking Aces' Basically people apply to have the chance to track down the twins and kidnap them, keeping them hostage until the production company says they have completed the challenge...Although i would hope that the production company loses the contact details and they just stay there indefinately.

So good luck to Blue, unfortunately like every other year, it will be political and they will be lucky to get just one point, but give it a go!

Talking about politics, Jedward would be pleased to know that our current Prime Minister David Cameron thought that the twins were the best act on the X-Factor in 2009, however Gordon Brown at the time did state that they were 'not very good', although he did later apologised for that comment. Hope this doesn't sway the voting in the next election!

And if you are a fan of the twins, then you will be happy to hear that they will be releasing a clothing line called 'Pop Icons' and will be inspired by legends such as Michael Jackson and Freddie Mercury.

Thanks for reading guys

Charlie Sheen is Bi-winning!

Source In Touch Weekly



Mr Sheen has been showing the world that he is no longer under the influence of drugs anymore during an exclusive interview with ABC news.

After his ramblings during radio interviews, Andrea Cannings decided to ask direct questions to get to the truth about his drug use, orgies and dating two women at once. When asked if he was still on drugs, Charlie replied 'i am on a drug, its called Charlie Sheen!... i woke up and decided i have been kicked around, criticised about my rock star life and i am finally going to embrace it.' Asked whether he could possibly be Bi-pola, Charlie corrected the presenter by saying he wasn't Bi-pola, he was Bi-winning!

With the random comments he was making during the interview he was asked if he was on drugs at that moment to which he responded, 'you're just dealing with a Vatican Assasin, sorry...what does that mean you're wondering, whatever, its just a joke (really?), everybody takes things so literally.' So what did it mean? 'I don't know, all those words just sounds cool together...stuff just comes out and its entertaining and fun (questionable) and it sounds different from all the other garbage people are spewing.' So does that mean random words put together is more entertaining than the normal kind on comedy? Because if that is the case, people who have been committed to Psychiatric Institutes could become the new generation of comedians!

Charlie also told ABC that the last time he took drugs was around a month ago where he was taking more drugs than any 'normal' person could survive from; and the only reason he survived that was because he is Charlie Sheen, and he was proud to take drugs because he exposed other people to magic, and if they died then that was their fault. This man is devine and because of this i feel we should pull our troops out and send him into Afghanistan as Chopper Harley! At least he would be able to sort out the heroin problem!

source PBK Product Focus

Right now, with the proof of a drugs test, Charlie is not under the influence of drugs, and giving up was so easy for him as all he did was blinked and he cured himself according to the Two and a Half Men star.

Asked if he had any support from fellow celebrities, Mr Sheen announced that he had huge support from stars such as Sean Penn, Mel Gibson and Colin Farrell but no advice was given; but just the fact that their names appeared on his phone made Charlie feel like he is winning....

Now these are proper role models don't you think! In 1987 Sean Penn was arrested for assaulting a photographer on a film set, and was also alleged to of hung a paparazzo by his ankles from a 9th floor balcony. Mel Gibson known for his Homophobia, Racism, Sexism and Domestic Violence, Anti-Semitism and DUI's; and the allegations against Colin Farrell involving prostitution and harrassment to a telephone sex worker. If he wanted even better idols then he should speak to Amy Winehouse, Mickey Rourke and Naomi Campbell.

Now there is only one man who can talk some sense into Charlie Sheen! One man who can give him a reality check because i expect he has someone in his family who has gone through what Charlie is going through. This man take no crap and says it like it is! I can see the caption now 'My drug use turned me into a Vatican Assasin' Only Jeremy Kyle can save this man ladies and gentlemen. But will he answer the call?!

Thanks for reading guys

Lindsay Lohan shows us a new way of standing up

source oceleb

Lindsay Lohan has recently finished rehab and decided to celebrate it the only way she knows how...PISS-UP!!!

Plenty of pictures have been published of Lindsay hitting the deck outside a Lower East Side bar, and fails to stand back up resulting in one picture showing her with her forehead pressed to the pavement (i think she is impersonating a hedgehog when it gets spooked curling up in a ball, but that is just my opinion). Although i think she is just trying to entertain the photographers with some breakdancing choreography, but she could just be shaming herself once again. I'll let you guys decide.

source daily mail

According to Miss Lohan, she updated her status on facebook stating 'i'm always a klutz. Is it not allowed to slip and fall?' (Still pissed i think) She also went on Twitter and said 'Funny how making a joke can turn into...well, me falling and a story.' Now in her defence she was wearing heels so she does have a leg to stand on...No wait, she doesn't!

Its good to know that after all that time in Prison, rehab and infront of judges she has turned over a new leaf! If i was the judge i would be able to put her into shape. Six weeks in prison forced to listen to Justin Bieber's 'Baby' over and over again. Then a years community service having to watch the Kardashians go about their everyday lives. That would be enough to cure anyone i think...Scares me!

source hecklerspray



Let me know what you think the judge can do to sort her out guys, she needs our help before Charlie Sheen gets to her!

Thanks for reading!