The Return of BB!

Source BB Logo

So it has begun. Big Brother is back on our screens! After saying goodbye to the show on Channel 4, I thought I was free from seeing mindless idiots pretending to be someone they are not. But Channel 5 has decided that the public needs to receive another dose of the show that created reality TV.

Tonight BB was kicked off with Celebrity Big Brother, and what a wide range of 'celebrities' we have in there. We have a movie stars, 'singers', a gypsy fighter, a pr**k (Paparazzi), an ex wife of a more famous character on Baywatch, and my favourite, the wife of the speaker in the House of Commons (Although I am confused as to how she has been classed as a celebrity...?)

Source Amy Childs

The main contestants put together, have enough braincells to make two slices of toast! A prime example is Amy Childs, known for being the main character in TOWIE. During her introduction, she described herself as the following... 'I really am ditsy, I really don't think before I speak!' Should prove to be some good viewing then. I may to put the show on subtitiles when she speaks though.

Source Kerry Katona

Kerry Katona, was first contestant in, and was lucky enough to be picked for the first BB challenge. Her job was to become a diva and throw a tantrum in front of everyone. Shouldn't be hard for the ex Atomic Kitten singer. There are a couple of things she could complain about. How about that fact that the producers did not provide her with any recreational substances! Or the fact that the amount of alcohol provided was only enough to give her dutch courage!

Source Mr Paparazzi

One housemate which I was surprised to see in there was Darryn Lyons AKA Mr Paparazzi! And when I did see him, the first thing I thought was how he was the definition of the word hypocrite. He looked shocking! He's overweight, terrible hair and has a crap dress sense! And yet he is the man who is in charge magazines that judges celebrities and makes their lives hell. I think whilst he is in there, all the celebrities should band together and create a magazine, purely concentrated on him, with constant criticism. Shouldn't be too difficult, he is an arse!

Now what shocked me the most is when the annoying duo Jedward entered the house! They seemed to be the centre of attention! Half of me hated seeing them on TV, generally because I can't stand them! But the other half is really glad they are in. I actually think the producers should keep them in there even when the show has finished and the cameras are turned off. Whilst the show is on however, I think they need to be pushed to their limits. One thing I would love to see is how they would behave if they were kept apart from each other for the whole show. Hopefully a lot of crying and erratic behaviour.

As much as I would like to say this will be my only post about BB. I don't think I will be able to avoid it as there are so many muppets in there, something is bound to go wrong.

Let me know what you think of the housemates. Do you think they will all gel together or will there be some friction?

X Factor to be less sexy this year!

Source Rihanna

After the paddy that Ofcom had last year about the sexy performances by both Rihanna and Christina Aguilera. The X Factor has promised to tone down its act before the 9pm watershed.

Last yeah the show recieved 5,000 complaints and they have been told by Ofcom the clean-up their act. A source told The Daily Mirror, 'Ofcom made themselves very clear about what they expect, and the message they gave us was basically to cut the smut.'

So i'm guessing this year we can expect weekly performances from Susan Boyle then.

What I want to know is what you guys and gals think. Please complete the poll found in the right hand column and let me know how the raunchyness of the show affects you.

Commercials increased by 22%!!!!!

Now i'm sure you are all like me. When you are watching a programme, getting really into it, you are rudely interrupted sodding TV channels throwing up to 5 minutes worth of adverts that you have no interest in. Well figures show that audiences are watching an extra 22% more edverts then they were 5 years ago, utter disgrace!

Source Go Compare Man

I can understand adverts which shows us programmes which will be coming to our TV screens in the near future. But constant adverts about accidents which weren't my fault is boring.

It has gotten to the stage where you could, if you have time on your hands (which I did) put a short story together during those five minutes. In fact...I have actually done it...

So the fat, annoying 'Go Compare' bloke was walking down the street reading a letter from 'Gladstone Brookes' about PPIs when he fells over Aleksandr the meerkat and sprained his ankle. Now because he was injured in an accident which wasn't his fault, he knew by the constant adverts, that he could be entitled to compensation. But he needed money just in case he lost so he had to put all his gold into an envelope and sent it off to 'Cash my Gold'. Now that still wasn't enough so he had to use 'Quick Quid' for help. So after a week he won, but because of the 1734% APR he got into financial difficulty. So he had to consolidate all his loans into one manageable monthly repayment.

Its a crap story but they are crap adverts!

The problem is, they are aimed at naive benefit cheating muppets who would cut off their hand if it meant they could get a 40" TV out of it.

How many times do 'Gladstone Brookes' and other companies have to advertise PPI's?! I wish I was allowed to be the voice of their advert. 'If you have had a loan in the last six years where you didn't understand your repayments or the insurance sold to you. Then you shouldn't of taken out the loan you f**king idiot, you deserve everything you get!'

Its the same with 'Quick Quid' what a brilliant advert 'Too many bills this month? Then do what I did! Visit QuickQuid.co.uk/TV and get the money you need today...Its so quick and simple, I got the money, and in return they now own my house, and I work as an escort in the evenings to try and pay it back. If you are interested why not call me on 0800GULLABLE'

Guys please ignore these adverts. Unless you like teddies, if so, use compare the market and you can get a teddy bear!

Bert and Ernie, confusion over which side they are batting for!

Source Bert and Ernie

The Sesame Street duo, who have been friends for over 42 years, have been the centre of attention for over 7000 who have signed a petition for Bert and Ernie to get married. They are asking for the two characters who share the same bedroom, albeit in two single beds, to tie the knot to show a generation of lesbians and gays that they are beautiful to.

I'm sorry but isn't Sesame Street aimed at preschool children?! If there are teenagers or adults watching the programme everyday, then I would question their maturity to decide what their sexuality actually is.

Source Best of Friends

So if they were labelled as homosexual, then what can they teach children. Are they going to have episodes about fashion, gay pride parades, going to gay night clubs? Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against homosexuals, I just think they have chosen the wrong characters to plant the 'seed of peace' in people.

The Sesame Workshop has released a statement saying 'Bert and Ernie are best friends... They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different to themselves.'

For everything that has been said, for 42 years, it has been dictated to them what the scene was going to involved, and each time someone has stuck their hand up their behind, so maybe they could quite easily adapt to a change of sexuality.

As for this petition, that fact that 7,100 people have signed and over 3,000 people have joined the facebook group. The main issue for me is that we have a lot of people with a homosexual, puppet fetish... Something to worry about...

Jordan experiencing her mid-life crisis

 Source Jordan and Leo

Jordan has admitted to close friends that she is extremely worried that she is no longer considered sexy to the opposite sex. A source close to the reality TV star says 'She's getting scared that she is losing her sex symbol.' Well stop having all those surgeries! Because eventually there will be a mix up and you may go from having a V to having a P.

Source Sex Symbols

The ex model's confidence is slipping, even after falling into a relationship with Agentinian model Leandro Penna. A friend of hers told Now! 'She's never been happy with how she looks, which is why she's had so many boob jobs, lipo and fillers'

Apparently Leandro made it worse when he paid her a compliment by saying how gorgeous she looked in her early pictures. What a horrible man!!! Luckily for Jordan its whats inside that counts, which is her original face and breasts!
 
Anyway Jordan has nothing to worry about. Men don't just go for looks. Personality is just as important...Oh...umm...Sorry Jordan, maybe you should be scared.

John Terry, Rio Ferdinand and Wayne Rooney plea to stop the rioting!

Source England team

In an attempt to stop the rioting, England captain John Terry, along with Rio Ferdinand and Wayne Rooney have attended a press conference to plead to the rioters to stop, allowing the premiership games to start this weekend.

Club England managing director Adrian Bevington spoke on the behalf of the players. Their joint statement said: ‘On behalf of the squad, we would like to say we are disappointed that tomorrow’s game has been called off but obviously we understand the reasons behind this decision and support it. We’ve all seen the terrible pictures on the television and the most important thing at this time is the safety of the fans and the general public. At this time, the whole squad would like to appeal for calm and an end to the disorder that has been ongoing.’ 

Now I think its great that the England team are trying to use their status as role models to make a difference. But why choose these three? One of them was banned for 6 months for missing drug tests, and they have all been in the newspapers because of adultery. It would of been equally as affective if they bought the Kray Twins back from the dead to ask for peace.

What is going on with this country anyway. They are using the shooting of Mark Duggan by police as an excuse to cause havoc. Here are my issues with that:

1. He was a gang member
2. Even if he didn't fire his weapon. If he pointed it at armed police, they are going to shoot.
3. His picture definitely made him appear to be the pillar of the community

Source Mark Duggan

Now I have an idea on how to punish these teenagers. Obviously chucking them in prison would be great, but we do have a problem with them being full. Why don't we go to these people's houses, go up to the their rooms, grab everything expensive that they own e.g. TV, CD player, ipod, mobile, games consoles etc. Take the items, put them in a skip, and set the feckers on fire, and make them watch. We could even chuck them in but I don't know if that comes under their human rights.

 

I don't know about you guys but all this rioting goes to show that we need to listen more to the Kaiser Chiefs!

Alex Reid stops dressing as a woman for Chantelle!

Chantelle Houghton, girlfriend of Alex Reid has declared she has won the first round in her battle against Katie Price AKA Jordan.

The couple has been together for four months and to show his dedication to Chantelle, he has hung up his stockings and stilettos and has said goodbye to 'Roxanne'. 'He wouldn't do it for Jordan but all I had to do was ask' she told Now magazine. She may be proud of her accomplishment but I think its because he doesn't like any of the clothes she owns.

Source Alex Reid's Roxanne

He looks like Chyna from WWE; and I have a feeling Chantelle didn't just ask. Maybe she offered something in return... Maybe a signed copy of her book. That would scare me into doing anything she asked.

I think he needs to think about hanging up his gloves as well. I mean how can he expect to intimidate his opponents in the cage? Unless he hope that they would never hit a girl. Might want to think again Alex!

Source Alex Reid after a cat fight