Big Brother, Big Disappointment!

Source Jedward and Kerry

I thought when Big Brother launched itself onto Channel 5, I was going to have a lot of stories to write about after each episode. I was sadly mistaken!

Nothing major has happened since they all arrived in the house last friday, apart from John (From Jedward) dropping a pot of Coleslaw on the floor and not cleaning it up. I have struggled to watch an entire episode because the tasks they do are boring. The latest being Mr Pap taking pictures of the housemates in certain positions to create a news article, those photos, I would like to add, were crap considering it is a profession that he is famous for!

Yesturday I wrote down notes during the episode for me to write about today. However, after a good nights sleep, looking at the notes, I don't want to waste mine and your time. I'll give you examples:

• Amy tells some housemates about her camel toe experience Thrilling!
• Sally praises Jedward for not singing about themselves - They can't sing anyway!
• Jedward got into bed with Amy - Goes to show that together those three make one braincell!

 Source Bored Viewers

If this is what it is like with celebrities in the house, (people who we have a tiny bit of interest in) then what is it going to be like when normal housemates go in. Channel 5 may go back to have seriously low ratings.

BB have tried to spice things up a bit by setting Jedward a task. They have to be 5 meters away from eachother at all times and cannot wear the same outfits. Good thinking but why only 5 meters? Why can't they make it so one of the twins have to be in a room cut off from the other housemates, letting them swap every couple of hours. Then we would see what they are really like on their own!

I really hope this is just a trial run. If not I am going to have to find something else to watch! My fiance has put 'Home Under the Hammer' on series link. We could have a winner!!!

Imogen and Jedward to be I'm a Celeb contestant!

The Sun has revealed three potential people to take part in 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here'. I say people because i am still trying to accept that they have actually done anything worth labelling them a celebrity for.

Source Imogen Thomas

Source Jedward

The irritating twins named Jedward, and ex Big Brother house mate and gagged Imogen have been targeted by ITV to take part in the reality TV show with the chance to eat kangaroo testicles. Although if it turns out that Tim Cahill was Imogen's lover, then she would probably already have experience something similar.

If the twins do accept (which i am sure they will as it will raise their profile). I hope that they will be chosen to do all the trials, just so they can fail them all. Eventually the other celebrities will get so hungry they may have to start eating eachother; and who will they start with? How about the two idiots that made them starv!

I think its obvious that the reasons why Imogen has been hot listed to be on the show is because one, the moments she takes a wash under the waterfall will be just as highly rated as Mileene Klass' and two, they will hope that she will let slip the name of the footballer who she had the affair with, even though she is legally gagged right now.

Source Imogen Thomas

Thanks for reading guys and gals x



Jedwards attempt to perform with tigers denied!

Source Jedward

I read in Thursdays Mirror that Jedward was denied the opportunity to perform with tigers while representing Ireland in the Eurovision song contest.

According to a carer of the twins 'The boys thought bringing on Tigers was a full-proof plan. They know that the other countries don't think Britain or Ireland take the competition seriously. This was the ideal was of showing that they'd put a lot of thought into the gig.'

I know why they can't have the tigers. You see so many charity adverts on TV about animals who are being treated unfairly, been forced to dance and are kept in horrible conditions. Well i think the WWF would go mental if they saw the cats being tortured having to witness two morons dancing around like idiots.

I personally think its a great idea and that they should be allowed to have them on. By why stop at just letting them have tigers. Why not lions and gorillas, poisonous snakes, hyenas, and don't worry about feeding them and putting chains on them, let them roam around the stage. If they did that, then this could be the last time we see Jedward perform!

Source Tiger

I do feel that Ireland are talking rubbish when they say that they are taking the competition seriously. By choosing the twins who cannot sing and can't really dance, i actually think that they will appear to be taking the piss. Even though they came 6th in the X-Factor finals, it only happened because as a nation, we love underdogs. The only country they have a chance of beating is Great Britain, it just depends who is hated more.

Thanks for reading guys and gals x

Jedward forces Coco into early retirement!

Source Jedward

Coco the monkey, star of Coco Pops since 1963 will be shown the door by Kelloggs as they have found a 'suitable' replacement according to Heatworld, but Kelloggs say they have no intention in giving the monkey his marching orders.

Coco has been turning the milk chocolatey for 48 years, but rumours are that Jedward has taken the reins. The only way they will be able to turn the milk chocolatey is by pumping their evil into every bowl. This deal is said to be worth £180,000 and the twins are set to record their first advert in LA. But that is not the worst part of this story! John describes it perfectly. 'When you walk in the shops, all you will see is our faces and kids will be begging their parents to buys us!'

Now i have accepted that i have to see The twins once a week because they are on one of the funniest programmes on TV right now - Celebrity Juice. But to possibly see them everytime there is a break on, plus seeing them whenever i am in a Supermarket is a scary thought.

However Kelloggs have released a statement which says 'Kelloggs have worked with Jedward in Ireland to promote our Fun Raise for Kids campaign...However, as much as we love the guys, we have no plans to use them to 'front a campaign' and they will not be replacing Coco the monkey on our packs - his jobs is safe.'

We will just have to wait and see. All i know is these two pain in the asses are slowly taking over the world, and there is one man who is to blame for this, Louis Walsh! It reminds me of The Omen! Louis Walsh is the devil and Jedward are his children, maybe that is why they have those gigantic quifs to hide the horns! All i know is eventually they will take over the whole of television, along with Wagner and the GoCompare man unless we can find a way to stop them. I read on the msn news page that Jedward have landed the largest annual pay packet in X-Factor history, taking home £2.85m according to The Sun newspaper. GOD HELP US ALL!

I have a plan to stop Jedward! Because they are mainly on adverts, my plan is to turn over to a different channel when their advert comes on and turn back 30 seconds later when hopefully it would have finished. If everyone does this then the ratings will drop and they will be dropped also which will make our country a little bit happier.

Let me know your thoughts or let me know of other ideas you may have. We cannot let Louis Walsh win guys!

Source Louis Walsh

Jedward Somehow Slate Blue!

Source UnrealityTV

Both Jedward and Blue are representing their countries at the Eurovision song contest, and Jedward has wasted no time in playing mind games with the boyband.

During an interview the brothers told The Sun that they have listened to all the other songs and it appears that their song is better than the rest! Edward explained that "We're 19 and it will be girl teenagers voting, so they're more likely to vote for us. I've heard everyone else's Eurovision song and ours is better.”

They also critised Blue who will be singing their comeback song 'I Can' by saying "We never ditched our fans and came back. We've always been here." Unfortunately this is true!

Although i think no-one cares, Jedward have said that they are taking the Eurovision song contest 100% seriously.

Jedward first annoyed us during the 2009 series of X-factor where they came sixth in the finals of the competition. Since then their debut single 'Under Pressure (Ice Ice Baby)' reached second place in the singles chart but were dropped by Sony Records only to be signed by Universal Records on a three album deal the following day! Now i am abit confused as to why someone would think about signing these two...muppets (thats the only word i could come up with without swearing) I think Liam Gallagher summed it up beautifully when he said "How do you not smack them? I know all about annoying fucking brothers (referencing to his brother Noel), but nobody comes close to them. What the fuck is happening to British music? And what are those things on their heads?"

Obviously Jedward have every right to say that they are better than Blue. Blue only had nine singles in the top 10, three of them being chart toppers, and a number 1 album. So really they don't compare to the two Irish pricks.

I do however have a couple of ideas for the twins to progress in their career. One is to follow in the footsteps of Justin Bieber and appear in the TV drama CSI. Justin appeared in two episodes where at the end he ended up getting shot multiple times by police officers...Was probably my favourite episode ever, not that i want Justin Bieber to be killed, its just good that i don't have to imagine it anymore, i can see it for real.

Anyway my second idea is a reality TV show which is a mixture between Capture the Flag on 'Call of Duty' and the film 'Smoking Aces' Basically people apply to have the chance to track down the twins and kidnap them, keeping them hostage until the production company says they have completed the challenge...Although i would hope that the production company loses the contact details and they just stay there indefinately.

So good luck to Blue, unfortunately like every other year, it will be political and they will be lucky to get just one point, but give it a go!

Talking about politics, Jedward would be pleased to know that our current Prime Minister David Cameron thought that the twins were the best act on the X-Factor in 2009, however Gordon Brown at the time did state that they were 'not very good', although he did later apologised for that comment. Hope this doesn't sway the voting in the next election!

And if you are a fan of the twins, then you will be happy to hear that they will be releasing a clothing line called 'Pop Icons' and will be inspired by legends such as Michael Jackson and Freddie Mercury.

Thanks for reading guys