Cheryl's Cheeky gift from Nicola!

Source Nicole and Cheryl

Now we all hold grudges, whether we choose to admit it or not. But it seems that Cheryl Cole, and the rest of the Girls Aloud are still angry with Simon Cowell for his decision to sack Cheryl from the US X Factor, and replace her with Nicole Scherzinger (Shirt-singer if, like me you struggled to pronounce it) known for being in the girl band 'Nicole and the Pussycat Dolls'.

If you have been stuck down a hole for months and you do not know what is going on. Then basically Simon thought, that because X Factor was doing so well in the UK, he decided to abandon that show, to start one across the pond, and wanted Cheryl to join the team. This lasted a couple of months and she ended up coming back home, due to being sacked!

Well after this it was clear that Cheryl was extremely hurt, and at least once a week we are reminded on just how hurt she is.

Source Simon Cowell toiler paper

Fortunately for Cheryl, she has the support of the Girls Aloud ladies (minus Nadine) and Nicola has even gone and given her a gift that is sure to put a smile on her face... Simon Cowell Toilet paper! @CherylCole Babe.. Its not the girliest thing but I got you a present.. x #NaughtyNicola,' Tweeted Nicola who posted a pic of the comedy loo roll. I didn't know that Nicola liked toilet humour, but come to think of it, she must do when she has to listen to the s**t music she creates.

I wonder if this is their way of saying to Simon that he can either 'eat s**t and die'? Or that 'he can kiss their asses' If so I don't think they have thought this through as Simon can now say that his face has been in contact with an area on Cheryl's body that every man wishes to go.

Ashley just can't behave himself!

Source Ashley Cole

Ashley Cole has to be the dumbest person in the media right now.

After all the articles we have read recently about Cheryl and Ashley getting back together, he seems to have screwed it up again by sleeping with an air stewardess in LA just before he flew back to be with the Girls Aloud singer for her 28th birthday party.

I don't understand this man! People would give their right testicle to be with Cheryl Cole! Ashley! Looks! You may never be with this woman again!

Source Cheryl Cole

He is considered to be the best left back in the world but he is also the biggest dumbass in the world, he gets paid over £90k a week, and somehow, by kicking the ball for 90 minutes means that women, who, if I use them as a stereotype, aren't that interested in football, seem to fall for them. Now if Cheryl was shallow then she would only of got with him for his money. But I think she saw something in him, or maybe it was an airgun wedding...

If, after everything Ashley has done to her, Cheryl still wants to be with him, I have the perfect idea for her...ROLE PLAY!!!

Ashley can't seem to settle down with one woman, so why doesn't she become multiple women. She could be Wendy the nurse one day, then Debbie the secretary another day etc. As long as he doesn't get confused when she actually does her job as a singer and sleeps with Cher Lloyd accidently.

Cheryl lays down some rules for Ashley!

Source Cheryl and Ashley Cole

The official announcement of Cheryl and Ashley Cole reigniting their relationship is only just round the corner, however before that happens, it seem Cheryl has written a rule-book for Ashley to keep him on the straight and narrow.

They involve six simple rules:

1. No Sexting - For those who do not know what that is, it is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones. He isn't even allowed to do it with her! Just in case one of them loses their phone. Also Ashley is only allowed one phone! No 'pimp mobiles'
2. Daily video chats to make sure he is actually in his hotel room. An insider from Now said 'Ash called her every night while he was in LA and she wants that to continue' (Problem with that rule - he maybe in the hotel room, the main thing question is, is there anyone else with him?)
3. No secret networking, Cheryl has to know all his accounts and passwords
4. Cookery classes. Cheryl wants them to do more things as a couple.
5. Do not play away. Cheryl will randomly call hotels to make sure Ashley is where he says he is.
6. The couple spend at least one weekend a month where they can go on romantic getaways to spend some alone time together.

Although Ashley bought this on himself, I can't help but feel that he has been put on parole. I can imagine Cheryl in an officers uniform...Possibly an outfit that many men have pictured her in.

However if this works, the other WAGs might take note and make their own rules for their hubbies. We may see a new reality TV programme called 'I'm an English Premiership footballer, get me out of here'

Maybe Coleen Rooney already has a rule book... I think there would only be two rules in that one though.

1. Stay away from people grandmothers
2. Stay away from prostitutes

Ashley and Cheryl to get keys to a new house...But Cheryl's mum won't be getting a set!

Source Ashley and Cheryl

After appearing at Cheryl Cole's birthday party, it is pretty much confirmed that Cheryl and Ashley Cole will be getting back together, much to the dismay of her friends and family.

According to 'heat' magazine, they are already planning to move into a mansion in Surrey worth £6million. Although this is good news for the couple, it is not good news for Cheryl's mum Joan (who lived with them previously) as Ashley has expressed his desire for it just to be the two of them without the mother-in-law.

Ashley knows that it cannot work with her mum living in the same house, and he has told Cheryl that Joan cannot be part of their relationship. A friend of theirs told 'The Mail' 'Cheryl has to believe she can trust Ashley again. It's a big test of their new relationship as to whether he can behave himself'.' Not being funny, but he wouldn't be able to behave himself if he was tied down... In fact I bet he would prefer it.

I think for comedians everywhere, Ashley should allow Joan to move in with them. There are millions of jokes about mother-in-laws, and recently Ashley has been subject of many comedian's jokes. Imagine putting the two and two together!

As for Cheryl I would like to remind her what the term WAG stands for, 'Women Are Gullable' If I were her I would buy Ashley a mobile phone, maybe a nokia 3310. It doesn't have a camera, but what it does have is snake 2!!! what a game! 

Maybe he could start a hobby when he isn't playing football. He could take up shooting, I hear he is pretty good especially after his incident with a kid on placement. Although to be honest its not the first time Ashley has shot his load into someone he shouldn't have.

Cheryl Cole's life saved by rocks!

With everything that has happened to Cheryl Cole during the last couple of months. It is good to know that someone is looking after her. No not Ashley!

Source Russell Grant

TV astrologer Russell Grant has been feeling sorry for Cheryl and has sent her 3 healing gemstones to help the Geordie singer get through her X Factor failure. Apparently 'Cheryl needs this at the moment' he told The Sun. The gems he got her were an amethyst which 'protects from psychic attack'; Tiger's eye to bring her 'protective energy' and fluorite, to 'dissipate nervous energy'


He is missing a trick here! Why hasn't he gone on 'Dragons Den' to sell these products in supermarkets. If they really worked then people would be queuing out of the store to get them. I would like a 'get rid of Jedward' stone please!

I'm surprised that doctors don't use stones to heal people, maybe one of these stones could cure the common cold, hangovers, or even to stop Justin Bieber from singing...although I think any stone would stop that...

Source Cheryl Cole

I really doubt that Russell has cured Cheryl, but it appears that the singer is feeling a lot better than she did a couple of weeks ago. She has tweeted to her followers that she is doing a lot better. 'I want to PROMISE you that I am absolutely fine and more than OK!' I bet her relationship with Simon is still on the rocks...I bet there is a gemstone for that!

Will Cheryl make a big mistake!

So I have heard that Ashley Cole has taken advantage of Cheryl Cole's bad fortune and has raced over to comfort during her tough time.

Source Ashley and Cheryl

Since losing her place on both the UK and US X Factor, Cheryl has been in contact with her cheating ex boyfriend Ashley, and before he went to LA, they met up at their old house to play pool, had some drinks and have a chat. According to most media tabloids, they are on course to getting back together, even planning on having a holiday together.

What is going on with the WAGs?! We have heard many stories about some of our England football stars, and Ryan Giggs being caught offside, and each time the girlfriends and wives have come running back to them. Although we are yet to see what Stacey Giggs is going to do with the sex obsessed Welshman.

Now we know that WAG stands for 'Wives and Girlfriends', but I feel we need to change it to SWAG 'Some Women Are Gullable'! Are these footballers just being punished with suspensions rather than permanent bans? Has Ashley served a 9 month ban and is now cleared of all his sins? What kind of message are these women sending to girls who see them as role models? If he has lots of money then he can play away. Now those chav lads who go on Jeremy Kyle because they have cheated on their girlfriends have a defence, 'well you did say you would love to be treated like a footballers wife...'

Those WAGs have to decide whether they care more about their pride, or money. If they choose money then may I suggest to the lads a holiday to Thailand for the boys. I'm sure they would have a great time over there.

Source Peter Crouch showing off his moves!

What is going on with Cheryl Cole?

Source Cheryl Cole

The latest news in the US X Factor world is that Cheryl Cole is due to retake her seat on the judging panel next to Paula Abdul, LA Reid and Simon Cowell, which means Nicole Scherzinger (If you struggle to pronounce her surname, just say Shirt-Singer, helps me) will no doubt be sent back to co-hosting the show with Steve Jones. I feel sorry for Nicole as she seems to be thrown about quite a bit by Mr Cowell.

Source US X Factor Judges

Reports said she was going to go on the show to say goodbye, but it now appears that she could be getting her job back.

This sounds very similar to 2007 when Louis Walsh was sacked from the UK version to make way for younger blood. He was later given his role back months after, replacing Brian Friedman, but the way it happened was extremely similar to Cheryl's situation. It makes me think that this was all planned as it has created a lot of media attention towards the two shows, although I do not have any proof of that Simon! (Don't want a lawsuit on my hands) However, if it has been planned, I wonder if Louis and Cheryl knew what was/is going on.

Anyway, according to a source who spoke to the News of the World, 'key executives at Fox realised they have made a huge mistake. They have been watching the tapes of her and the American auditions and realising that she could be a huge star over there'. Clearly the Geordie accent is not as big a problem as first thought. Or maybe they have been taking Geordie language classes. Whatever happens though it seems that Cheryl will be concentrating on becoming a respected solo artist over in America, and Will.i.am is on a mission to make that happen.

As for Simon, I think he should start a new reality TV shows like 'The Hills' or 'The Only Way is Essex' as neither of them are real and he could make some great storylines.

Source Simon Cowell

Thanks for reading guys and gals x

Cheryl Cole not happy about being axed!

Source Cheryl Cole's not happy

Cheryl Cole has expressed her disappointment at being shown the door after Simon Cowell admitted 'it wasn't working'.

Cheryl is seething because Simon didn't even go to see her face to face to talk to her, although he is convinced that her warned her a few days ago that the production team were concerned about her performance on screen. I don't see how its any different to being on the UK version. All she has to do is sit behind a table with the other judges and give her opinion on singers, or people who think they can sing. The excuse that there was an accent problem is said to be rubbish as screen tests have been done and everything was fine.

Source Cheryl pointing the blame at Simon

Although Simon has tried to dig himself out of the hole by saying he was under so much pressure to release her. Will I Am has confirmed that Cheryl being sacked has made a huge dent in her plans to break into America, especially as he had organised duets with Rihanna and Usher. 'No-one knows who she is in the US. X Factor was supposed to have sorted that out. It really couldn't of played out any worse.'

Source Will and Cheryl

On the plus side though it seems that a contract is waiting for her to sign to re-join the UK X Factor and take her seat alongside Gary Barlow, Louis Walsh and Kelly Rowland, which means Tulisa will have to make way....Oh well.

Cheryl's mum has made it clear to everyone that she hasn't failed, the blame is on someone else's doorstep. Its good to see that she has the support of JLS. 'She will be welcomed home with open arms, and everyone wants to see her return to the show. It would be amazing!'

There seems to be a mixed reaction to the thought of Cheryl returning to the show as some people feel that she had abandoned them. According to some pole that was taken, 62% of people would prefer her not to go back. Now i never really pay much attention to celebrity poles, mainly because the only people who do them are people who feel hard done by for some reason. People who realise that it doesn't actually affect their lives choose to get on with what they are doing and not participate in them.

I think it was understandable that Cheryl was released by the US show. If the viewers were not gelling properly with her and it was affecting the ratings, they have to do the right thing to save the show. Its a good thing that she is coming back to the UK show though. Her experience with going through these kind of competitions are vital and it will make the judging panel even stronger.

Source Cheryl Cole

Glad to have you back Cheryl, thanks for reading guys and gals x