Jordan experiencing her mid-life crisis

 Source Jordan and Leo

Jordan has admitted to close friends that she is extremely worried that she is no longer considered sexy to the opposite sex. A source close to the reality TV star says 'She's getting scared that she is losing her sex symbol.' Well stop having all those surgeries! Because eventually there will be a mix up and you may go from having a V to having a P.

Source Sex Symbols

The ex model's confidence is slipping, even after falling into a relationship with Agentinian model Leandro Penna. A friend of hers told Now! 'She's never been happy with how she looks, which is why she's had so many boob jobs, lipo and fillers'

Apparently Leandro made it worse when he paid her a compliment by saying how gorgeous she looked in her early pictures. What a horrible man!!! Luckily for Jordan its whats inside that counts, which is her original face and breasts!
 
Anyway Jordan has nothing to worry about. Men don't just go for looks. Personality is just as important...Oh...umm...Sorry Jordan, maybe you should be scared.

John Terry, Rio Ferdinand and Wayne Rooney plea to stop the rioting!

Source England team

In an attempt to stop the rioting, England captain John Terry, along with Rio Ferdinand and Wayne Rooney have attended a press conference to plead to the rioters to stop, allowing the premiership games to start this weekend.

Club England managing director Adrian Bevington spoke on the behalf of the players. Their joint statement said: ‘On behalf of the squad, we would like to say we are disappointed that tomorrow’s game has been called off but obviously we understand the reasons behind this decision and support it. We’ve all seen the terrible pictures on the television and the most important thing at this time is the safety of the fans and the general public. At this time, the whole squad would like to appeal for calm and an end to the disorder that has been ongoing.’ 

Now I think its great that the England team are trying to use their status as role models to make a difference. But why choose these three? One of them was banned for 6 months for missing drug tests, and they have all been in the newspapers because of adultery. It would of been equally as affective if they bought the Kray Twins back from the dead to ask for peace.

What is going on with this country anyway. They are using the shooting of Mark Duggan by police as an excuse to cause havoc. Here are my issues with that:

1. He was a gang member
2. Even if he didn't fire his weapon. If he pointed it at armed police, they are going to shoot.
3. His picture definitely made him appear to be the pillar of the community

Source Mark Duggan

Now I have an idea on how to punish these teenagers. Obviously chucking them in prison would be great, but we do have a problem with them being full. Why don't we go to these people's houses, go up to the their rooms, grab everything expensive that they own e.g. TV, CD player, ipod, mobile, games consoles etc. Take the items, put them in a skip, and set the feckers on fire, and make them watch. We could even chuck them in but I don't know if that comes under their human rights.

 

I don't know about you guys but all this rioting goes to show that we need to listen more to the Kaiser Chiefs!

Alex Reid stops dressing as a woman for Chantelle!

Chantelle Houghton, girlfriend of Alex Reid has declared she has won the first round in her battle against Katie Price AKA Jordan.

The couple has been together for four months and to show his dedication to Chantelle, he has hung up his stockings and stilettos and has said goodbye to 'Roxanne'. 'He wouldn't do it for Jordan but all I had to do was ask' she told Now magazine. She may be proud of her accomplishment but I think its because he doesn't like any of the clothes she owns.

Source Alex Reid's Roxanne

He looks like Chyna from WWE; and I have a feeling Chantelle didn't just ask. Maybe she offered something in return... Maybe a signed copy of her book. That would scare me into doing anything she asked.

I think he needs to think about hanging up his gloves as well. I mean how can he expect to intimidate his opponents in the cage? Unless he hope that they would never hit a girl. Might want to think again Alex!

Source Alex Reid after a cat fight

Being married has made Ashely Cole cheat!

Source Ashley Cole

Personal Trainer, Collette McBarron, who spent an intimate night with Cheryl Cole's again ex Ashley Cole cuddling, insists they just chatted about his split from the Geordie singer and has discovered the reason for all the cheating Ashley did.

'You go from being someones boyfriend to being their husband...When you're someones boyfriend, you don't feel so much responsibility towards that person.' Ashley said. What a gentleman! 'Once you're a husband you can't act in a way that you would have done if you were a boyfriend.'

So does that mean that Cheryl was aware of what Ashley was like before they got married? Did she think that marrying him would calm him down? If so that is unbelievable! Its like Germany being in a relationship with Hitler who wanted to rule the world, but they thought, 'If we invade Poland, that should calm him down'

But Collette is convinced his cheating is not all his fault. 'He can't help but be sucked onto the world of nightclubs and girls because it goes with the job,' She tells the Daily Mail. Umm No Collette! His job is being a football player. That involves training, playing games, sponsorship. If anything, by going out and drinking actually hinders some players. If he wants partying to go with the job, maybe he should get into business with Peter Stringfellow.

Britney's Hygiene is called into question

Britney Spears is being sued by her ex bodyguard for causing psychological damage after being sexually harassed by the singer last year. 

Source Britney Spears

Fernando Flores claimed that she would take a 'cocktail of drugs' whilst he worked with her, how the star would parade naked in front of her mirror and also questioned her hygiene as she would go without showering or even cleaning her teeth for days, and would pick her nose and break wind unapologetically.

Is that where she got the idea for 'Oops I did it again'?

Flores also explained that she would strip off all her clothes and beckon him into her room for sex. What a terrible thing to happen! Britney Spears! Who was once one of the hottest women in the world, inviting you into her bedroom for sex. Its enough to make me throw up!

I think a lot of blokes would ignore her hygiene. They would probably think 'If she is dirty on the outside... Maybe she is dirty on the inside!'

Source Britney Spears

If there is anything to be concerned about, its the fact that she randomly asks staff to address her as Jennifer or Queen Bee..? Is that her version of Katie Price's alter ego Jordan?

Source Crazy Britney

Britney's lawyer has decided to deny all allegations. Of course she has, she probably doesn't see it as harassment. It might just be her way of meeting new people.

Ashley just can't behave himself!

Source Ashley Cole

Ashley Cole has to be the dumbest person in the media right now.

After all the articles we have read recently about Cheryl and Ashley getting back together, he seems to have screwed it up again by sleeping with an air stewardess in LA just before he flew back to be with the Girls Aloud singer for her 28th birthday party.

I don't understand this man! People would give their right testicle to be with Cheryl Cole! Ashley! Looks! You may never be with this woman again!

Source Cheryl Cole

He is considered to be the best left back in the world but he is also the biggest dumbass in the world, he gets paid over £90k a week, and somehow, by kicking the ball for 90 minutes means that women, who, if I use them as a stereotype, aren't that interested in football, seem to fall for them. Now if Cheryl was shallow then she would only of got with him for his money. But I think she saw something in him, or maybe it was an airgun wedding...

If, after everything Ashley has done to her, Cheryl still wants to be with him, I have the perfect idea for her...ROLE PLAY!!!

Ashley can't seem to settle down with one woman, so why doesn't she become multiple women. She could be Wendy the nurse one day, then Debbie the secretary another day etc. As long as he doesn't get confused when she actually does her job as a singer and sleeps with Cher Lloyd accidently.

Ellie Redman gives her approval...WHO CARES!

Source Ellie Redman

TOWIE (The Only Way Is Essex) star Ellie Redman has told Now! magazine that she approves of Cheryl Cole getting back together with Ashley, who has cheated on her on a number of occasions, possibly the latest being a couple of days before Cheryl's 28th Birthday party.

She believes that by having the Chelsea left back by Cheryl's side. She can bounce back from the US X Factor dumping and be even stronger with his support. 'If Cheryl wants to give Ashley another chance I think that's good...Cheryl's been through so much, she just needs someone to love and support her'

Its good to hear that someone actually approves of what Cheryl is doing, but I have one question... Who is this girl? I really doubt that her opinion will change Cheryl's feelings. How do we know that she means what she says, especially after they stated TOWIE is supposed to be a reality TV show, yeah right! Its just as real as Katie Price's breasts.