Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Kerry Katona tells us about what happened after she won 'I'm a Celebrity'...7 years later!

With 'I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here' on our screens once again, after 7 years since Kerry Katona won the crown, she has decided it is time for everybody to know what happened straight after she left the jungle...

She had a bath...OH WOW THANKS FOR TELLING US!!!

She explained to 'NOW ' magazine that having a wash as soon as you leave camp is crucial. Well that isn't completely necessary. You just need to stop rolling around in you own dirt after you use the dunny.

She told the magazine 'I remember getting in the bath and Brian had to wash me and the bath water was filthy.' Ok 1, have a shower instead then; and 2, why was Brian washing you? Were you four at the time? Are you that lazy? Or could you not be trusted with the Talcum Powder after your bath and needed to be supervised?

Source Kerry Katona

After her bath, she understandably was craving some decent food. 'Then I had a McDonald's,' she admits, 'and when I got in a car I was like, what is this weird machine I'm in?!' YOU WERE IN THE JUNGLE FOR 2 WEEKS!!! Its not like she has been living with an Amazon tribe all her life, so I'm afraid Kerry, that comment makes you an idiot!

Saturday, 12 November 2011

Cheryl's Cheeky gift from Nicola!

Now we all hold grudges, whether we choose to admit it or not. But it seems that Cheryl Cole, and the rest of the Girls Aloud are still angry with Simon Cowell for his decision to sack Cheryl from the US X Factor, and replace her with Nicole Scherzinger (Shirt-singer if, like me you struggled to pronounce it) known for being in the girl band 'Nicole and the Pussycat Dolls'.

If you have been stuck down a hole for months and you do not know what is going on. Then basically Simon thought, that because X Factor was doing so well in the UK, he decided to abandon that show, to start one across the pond, and wanted Cheryl to join the team. This lasted a couple of months and she ended up coming back home, due to being sacked!

Well after this it was clear that Cheryl was extremely hurt, and at least once a week we are reminded on just how hurt she is.

Fortunately for Cheryl, she has the support of the Girls Aloud ladies (minus Nadine) and Nicola has even gone and given her a gift that is sure to put a smile on her face... Simon Cowell Toilet paper! @CherylCole Babe.. Its not the girliest thing but I got you a present.. x #NaughtyNicola,' Tweeted Nicola who posted a pic of the comedy loo roll. I didn't know that Nicola liked toilet humour, but come to think of it, she must do when she has to listen to the s**t music she creates.

I wonder if this is their way of saying to Simon that he can either 'eat s**t and die'? Or that 'he can kiss their asses' If so I don't think they have thought this through as Simon can now say that his face has been in contact with an area on Cheryl's body that every man wishes to go.

Sunday, 6 November 2011

Look out for the Tricksters during Halloween!

While I was writing some of this, I was being hounded by Trick or Treaters! I do not understand this tradition. Why should I give strangers in masks sweets, when they could quite easily be after my wallet or mobile phone instead.

But thinking about Halloween has made think that maybe some people aren't just evil on one day, but evil throughout the year; and I thought I would warn you guys and gals of the people to look out for!

Louis Walsh - Sucks the talent out of performers and turns them into cabaret acts. That's right Louis they actually are Cabaret! Examples - Choosing to put through Jedward and Wagner in the live finals when they clearly have as much talent as Alex Reid's....Well...Alex Reid generally. Plus if it wasn't for Goldie quitting the X Factor, we could of be forced to watch her performances on the live shows.

Jordan - The Siren who hunts down innocent men, using them to get publicity and media attention, and once she has sucked their soul out of them, she dumps them like the silicone implants which were once her breasts.

Jedward - Have been put on this earth to destroy Britain's entertainment sector. Simple as that! However I believe, if you split them apart, we can beat them. So come on guys, lets beat them! Grab you pitchforks!!!

Justin Beiber - I believe this boy has sold his soul! Not only is he one of the worlds biggest singers right now. He is extremely talented in playing musical instruments such as the drums, piano, guitar and bass. He can also play American Football, Basketball, Football (Or Soccer for you guys over the pond) so I can't help but feel that he has sold his soul. Also if you have seen the series 'Reaper' you will know it is about a boy who becomes a Demon Hunter because his parents sold his soul to the devil to save themselves. So I am praying that the news article floating around about him getting a girl pregnant is not true!

I'm worried because I don't know how we can stop these monsters! Now after watching 'Paranormal Activity' I am not convinced that exorcism is the answer.

Please leave your comments and ideas below. Or like my page on Facebook and let me know what you think.
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