Monday, 4 April 2011

Charlie Sheen is Bi-winning!

Mr Sheen has been showing the world that he is no longer under the influence of drugs anymore during an exclusive interview with ABC news.

After his ramblings during radio interviews, Andrea Cannings decided to ask direct questions to get to the truth about his drug use, orgies and dating two women at once. When asked if he was still on drugs, Charlie replied 'i am on a drug, its called Charlie Sheen!... i woke up and decided i have been kicked around, criticised about my rock star life and i am finally going to embrace it.' Asked whether he could possibly be Bi-pola, Charlie corrected the presenter by saying he wasn't Bi-pola, he was Bi-winning!

With the random comments he was making during the interview he was asked if he was on drugs at that moment to which he responded, 'you're just dealing with a Vatican Assasin, sorry...what does that mean you're wondering, whatever, its just a joke (really?), everybody takes things so literally.' So what did it mean? 'I don't know, all those words just sounds cool together...stuff just comes out and its entertaining and fun (questionable) and it sounds different from all the other garbage people are spewing.' So does that mean random words put together is more entertaining than the normal kind on comedy? Because if that is the case, people who have been committed to Psychiatric Institutes could become the new generation of comedians!

Charlie also told ABC that the last time he took drugs was around a month ago where he was taking more drugs than any 'normal' person could survive from; and the only reason he survived that was because he is Charlie Sheen, and he was proud to take drugs because he exposed other people to magic, and if they died then that was their fault. This man is devine and because of this i feel we should pull our troops out and send him into Afghanistan as Chopper Harley! At least he would be able to sort out the heroin problem!

Right now, with the proof of a drugs test, Charlie is not under the influence of drugs, and giving up was so easy for him as all he did was blinked and he cured himself according to the Two and a Half Men star.

Asked if he had any support from fellow celebrities, Mr Sheen announced that he had huge support from stars such as Sean Penn, Mel Gibson and Colin Farrell but no advice was given; but just the fact that their names appeared on his phone made Charlie feel like he is winning....

Now these are proper role models don't you think! In 1987 Sean Penn was arrested for assaulting a photographer on a film set, and was also alleged to of hung a paparazzo by his ankles from a 9th floor balcony. Mel Gibson known for his Homophobia, Racism, Sexism and Domestic Violence, Anti-Semitism and DUI's; and the allegations against Colin Farrell involving prostitution and harrassment to a telephone sex worker. If he wanted even better idols then he should speak to Amy Winehouse, Mickey Rourke and Naomi Campbell.

Now there is only one man who can talk some sense into Charlie Sheen! One man who can give him a reality check because i expect he has someone in his family who has gone through what Charlie is going through. This man take no crap and says it like it is! I can see the caption now 'My drug use turned me into a Vatican Assasin' Only Jeremy Kyle can save this man ladies and gentlemen. But will he answer the call?!

Thanks for reading guys

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